After having feedback from my peers I went back in to my file and decided to make it more playful. My feed back was overall good they felt my hierarchy was clearly considered and the element are in a clear order. They felt the pages were considered and space has been given. They also like that Jessica was across 1 and half pages given the amount of writing space to breath. The rag and line length felt good. The only criticism was that the piece felt save and could have been a lot more playful.
I felt that this was overall goof feedback but my reason for keeping it simple was because I didn’t want the piece to be overcrowded I wanted the type and picture speak for them selves. I have gone back in and added shadows of the image behind the type because I like the way text reads when there something behind it .
This is my formative feedback and I took all of this in to consideration I tried to concentrate mainly on making the quotes and type work with the body copy. I had the idea of doubling the quote to create the idea of shadow. This links in with the photos with the idea of using shadow to creates these photos. I also looked into my type detailing making less paragraphs and trying to improve the rag. I also changed the quote on the middle page spread where only the word light is in white to match the title where only dark is in black. I decided to change this because it made more sense and visible worked better. Overall I think the quotes make the piece stronger.
Below is my final 3 double page spreads with all the adulterations and improvements. I feel that there improvement has made my piece stronger and visual made the photos stronger working with the body copy.
Over all I think this project has been one of my favourite as it has allowed me to be free within my work and be as creative as I want. I also love the fact that I can take a article hat has no context and make it something thats my own. It also nice to see people taken a lot of different direction with the same article. I think getting feedback and see everyone else approach has really improved my overall spread. The amount of feedback i got from this project really help me. As there was a lot of idea I put into this and I just needed someone else to tell me to strip it back. I also needed to feel confident within my own work with my photo especially.
I have worked back into my avenir digital emphera and changed part to make it more readable and stand out better.
This here is my original Emphera but after feedback and looking at it again later on in the year i realise now that the written with the chrchter underneath is a bit much with the different shades so I have changed these all to now shade that is lighter making the writing easier to read. I have also played around with how many shadows of the V I need and I think it looks better with just the two.
There was feed back that said the 1988 looked to much so I have removed the backing 1988 and just stuck with the normal black writing.
I feel this looks a lot more readable and more structured. I feel that the 1988 still need work because it looks very alone and away from everything else. With more rearranging I decided to keep the 1988 all on one line and centre it in the middle of the V so there was equal white space around it. I feel this reads better and doesn’t over power everything else like the original one.
Overall I feel the feedback helped me see the changes that needed to be made and going back into has made me realise what needed to changed and with little adjustment that could make it look more together and overall a better piece than before.
Today I presented my edited version of my project from the feedback I got on Monday from David. I feel it has come on a lot since then. I have adjust the size of the font to 15 and I have removed the light bulb all together which I think works well and allows the image to speak for the article. There was things going into this presentation to the class that I was unsure about and wanted the class to point it out and give me there opinion on it.
When going into this I had changed the quotation on the second page and got rid of the white box and tried to play around with the text to make you work to read it but I wasn’t sure if this worked. I also changed the text layout a lot and wanted to find out if it work reading wise.
When getting my feedback I felt it really help to give me the last few things to adjust to my piece. They felt the images were strong and the title over the image could be lowered to allow the image to work on its own. The type detailing needs some work where it is going over 4 column the line length is very long and shows a lot of gaps within the text. They felt the text was hard to read because of the change in column throughout. They felt I should bring the box back on the quotation “Girl in the dark .. back to the light”. They felt the first spread was still very busy there was to many system with the quotations. The image on the first page they felt was strong if I open it up more and remove the text across the face and got rid of the yellow tones in the image because the system should stick to all black and white. I will use greyscale to edit the image.
I felt this feedback helped me to answer my question and it was good to show my work to other member of the class and get there opinion of my work when they haven’t seen it before.
This is my first double page spread my idea behind this spread is for the cracked light bulb to represent the girl in the dark the idea that she cracked the light and know lives in the dark. I used a image behind the text to make a strong starting point. The quote I have placed between two lines to separate them away from the rest of the text. I also have the text in size 20 font which is because when print it will be size A1. I do feel this page has a lot going on but i wanted to get all my ideas on there and then see how I can adjust it in the tutorials.
This is my next double page spread I wanted to use this pattern because I used it in my image and I felt it was strong and portrayed the way she is confused and trapped in the dark. The use of the black and white quote is to play with the quotes meaning. I have centred the body text on the next page to play with space.
This is the last double page spread I have used the same layout for the body text as the previous one. I have used the image that is the same as the pattern above but I do feel this image feel very dark and doesn’t give the image justice.
Today I had a tutorial with David where we talked through where I had got with article so far and what I could do to improve. The image I had used were strong and I needed to be more confident with them and make them the strength of the article. The title needed work and there needed to be more white space. He felt the first double page spread was to busy and that the light bulb wasn’t working with the images so I decided that it would be best to get rid of it.
The line around the quotations weren’t working they were restricting the quotation. He felt I needed to play with the type more and be more brave with it. I felt this was very helpful and once explained what needed work I completely understood where he was coming from and what I could do with it. I also felt I could use the grid more.
Today we presented to the rest of the class all of our idea we had so far. We presented our initial ideas and how we got to the idea of social media. We showed all of our through processes and our work so far towards making the animation. Although we hadn’t started out animation yet we had all the planning and digital work ready to get going.
We went through each slide and explained out plans for our animation and our feedback was all good everyone loved our approach with the “schmombie” and the idea of questioning if we are one at the end of the presentation. Also we were told that we could cut it down as it is three separate ideas and would work fine with just one so after we have presented we will discuss weather we want to cut it and if so what part we will use.
When we discussed as a group what we were going to do we decided we liked the idea of the person morfing into a zombie so we were going to start with the flash light idea and go from there. With his being taken inside and then morfed. We also were told to look into what our printed emphera was going to be and we think we might do a poster with the quote “Dont be a “schmombie” and then a gif of it morfing. I think this will all work well together.
Overall I think presenting our work so far gave us more ideas and allows us to plan how we were going to start the animation. It also made us reconsider doing the whole story board so we are looking at starting from the the mobile phone chomping the boy and go from there because we liked the idea of concentrating on the person morfing into a schmombies.
Today we presented our work for the character and place brief on Joe Lareta which I think considering we didn’t really plan our presentation I think we got the work across well and let the work speak for itself.
Our feedback was good overall they felt that our use of collaboration using stick, spray paint and photoshop worked well together overall. There was also a clear path of ideas and we were told it worked well that we displayed all of our ideas in a scrap book to almost show or path of ideas as well as showing a story.
I think that overall this project went well we did have a few problem when it came to a change of ideas. We had a set idea to create 4 cushions with a story on each using stitch, spray paint and typography.
After tutorial telling us it was more about the ideas than the outcome we regrouped and changed our ideas to a dairy of ideas and 4 posters as like a sort of outcome. I think overall we worked well as a group we did have a few member of the group who didn’t turn up at all but the member that did even with illnesses we managed to communicate well even know we weren’t all together I think using Facebook to communicate out ideas worked well for us. We sent each other image of ideas and gave each other feedback which I felt was good for us.
I think if we had had more time we could have produced the cushions as well as the other things. I think this would have worked well as a final outcome and would have showed how out collaboration worked on one piece.